


Saudade

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Add tags as I go, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Reader's Past is kinda up to you, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, another story i know im sorry i have ideas but never finish, handplates AU, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:59:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7364200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DISCONTINUED FEEL FREE TO DO WITH THIS WHAT YOU WILL</p><p>You were on your way home from work that night when you saw him, stumbling in an alley way, shorts stained with piss and vomit from his obvious drinking binge. You had always been a kind person, perhaps too kind, but if there was one thing that you learned from life, it was that monsters were better than people. So when he doubled over and puked again, skeletal hand trembling against the building as he expelled the liquor he had drowned himself in, you decided then and there that you would help the poor soul before you, because he sure as hell looked like he could use a friend, and god knows you didn't have any.<br/>If things went well, maybe you could finally throw out the noose you'd hid in your closest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saudade

**Author's Note:**

> "No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom."

You sat on your bed, the room dark, illuminated by the dim city lights that filtered in through your blinds. Your hands in your lap, the rough texture of the rope leaving slight abrasions on your skin as you gripped it tighter. Would today be the day? The day you finally threw twenty-five years down the drain?

You'd stopped wearing makeup the day you graduated high school, let the world see how tired and defeated you were. You didn't care. As the years progressed after that, you became isolated, friends left, determined to find their place in the world, leaving you exactly where you always had been. For a while, you'd been content to laze about and sleep away your troubles, but soon you just started going through the motions of everyday life, you stopped eating, stopped giving a shit entirely. You had become a lifeless husk that shambled through your daily tasks. You were tired. You were alone.

It had started as suicidal thoughts, then it became self harm, barely breaking the skin of your wrist with a serrated knife. It was "just to ground you, give you something to feel again" or so you told yourself. It just a step to where you were now. On your bed, palms getting rope burn from the noose you held in a death grip.

You'd spent years fantasizing about the day you brought it all to an end. Would it be today? Would you be strong enough to end it? What was stopping you?

You got up, made your way to the closet, and returned the noose to the box. What was this feeling in your chest stopping you?

**Author's Note:**

> Yea i know i'm starting another story when i have several in the works. I have ideas and this is my way to see if people like them. I could really use a co author.. Lmao
> 
> Chapter one is just a little vent for me plus a look into Reader's mind and why she is so open to helping Sans in the future. Shes literally starved for companionship and she figures if she is gonna end her life soon, she may as well spend one of her last days doing something worth while like helping a poor stranger down on his luck
> 
> Sorry about format as always. This was done on my phone


End file.
